


channel surfing

by MaryPSue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bar Rescue (TV) fusion, Cutthroat Kitchen (TV) fusion, Diners Drive-Ins and Dives (TV) fusion, Gen, it's SPN but on reality television I don't know what to tell you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23834968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryPSue/pseuds/MaryPSue
Summary: There's nothing good on TV these days.
Kudos: 1





	channel surfing

**Author's Note:**

> Does this even count as a fic? I'm gonna say this counts as a fic.

Harvelle’s Roadhouse was forced to close its doors after a devastating fire destroyed the building, but owner Ellen Harvelle is determined not to give up on her bar. Jon Taffer rebuilds from the ground up in five days, and renames the resurrected Roadhouse after Ellen’s late husband Bill. The signature cocktail that mixologist Mia Mastroianni creates for the bar is phoenix-themed. Six weeks later, bar sales are up 25% from before the fire, and Ellen has had to fire her manager for being possessed by a demon.

This week on Cutthroat Kitchen, Alton Brown’s eyes burn a sickly yellow and contestants discover they all have hidden psychic abilities. Three of the contestants are murdered by other contestants onscreen. Guest judge Tia Mowry doesn’t know, nor does she care. All she cares about are how good their dishes taste, and whether they remind her of a shrimp taco. (This episode ends up being the highest-rated of the season.)

Guy Fieri is rolling out, taking Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives to a family-owned restaurant in Queens that goes back three generations, a Sicilian place in Palm Beach with the best meatballs Guy’s ever tasted, and a hole-in-the-wall diner in Cairo, Illinois where his kitchen demo with the chef gets interrupted when one of the cameramen sprouts fangs and tries to eat Guy’s face. Two of the diner’s customers come to the rescue, and stick around just long enough to give their opinion of the food. The tall one’s impressed by the veggie burger. The pretty one won’t shut up about the pie.


End file.
